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So I was drunk at a party last night armed with a phone, here are some chat logs with my friends

friend 1:Keep going though. You are a fun drunk
me:I'm a fun everything
friend 1:That is a lie
me:A drunk in particular though I love reading over the funny shit I say while drunk
me:Prove it
friend 1:You're not a fun
friend 1:Waiter
me:Thats not true I'd be a great waiter
me:I'd get hella tips
friend 1:Shit man you probably would be
friend 1:I'd give you hella tips.
friend 1:Write my number on the check be like "hmu for sum mad anime"
me:Mad anime sounds like my kinda shit to
friend 1:Cool then let's chill waiter Robert
friend 1:I don't know why I wanted to call you josh . I don't even know a josh
me:Well josh peck is du kin sexy now
me:Fuckin*
friend 1:IKR. HE'S SO FUCKING HOT
friend 1:God I just love to look at pictures of him
friend 1:And his smile
friend 1:Fuck
friend 1:And plus he's funny and nice those tweets of his
friend 1:Ugh mannnnnn
me:L
me:It's like he's me
me:Except I was nver fat
me:E
me:Burn
friend 1:Robert
friend 1:JOSH PECK IS NOT YOU
me:Yes but we're both sexy and funny
friend 1:Says who
me:Plus he probably doesn't like beam and such so I guess I'm just better
me:Says me just now
me:Baka
friend 1:Doesn't like what
friend 1:Don't call me a baka you fucking baka
friend 1:Somehow fire emblem came out of my DS and I have no idea where it is
me:Oh wow
me:Doesn't like girls tied up
friend 1:Did you mean bdsm
friend 1:Not beam
me:Yea sorry I'm drunk
friend 1:I forgive you
friend 1:Are you going home at some point?
me:Yeah
friend 1:My cat says sup pun
friend 1:K
me:Cats can't talk you can't fool me
friend 1:Lucy said it
friend 1:They just don't talk to you
friend 1:Because you're a dummy
me:IahUs
friend 1:What
me:F
friend 1:Chill man
friend 1:What are you trying to say lol
me:I pissed in a fuse box while people sang smash mouth
friend 1:.... Dude
friend 1:What.....
me:I will provide no context
friend 1:By
friend 1:WHY
friend 1:You are worrying me
friend 1:Don't die
friend 1:Pls
friend 1:I did not understand any of that
me:Rufus's box was not a fuse box
me:Ruxk smartphones I swear to god
me:What the fuck is a ruxk
friend 1:Hm??
friend 1:You are a ruxk
me:TAKE THAT THE FUXK BACK
me:AHhhahahahaha
friend 1:Marty I'm scared
End Conversation
me:M
me:Drunk at
me:Af
friend 2:fuk
friend 2:how drunk
friend 2:i'm no soup or man
me:Hat last thing made no sense but I'm suerbdeunkl
friend 2:yes
me:I laughed so hard at that
friend 2:suerbdeunkl
me:Ababa an
me:AHAANABAHAHA
friend 2:ababa an
friend 2:what are you even laughing at
partygoer who took my phone after seeing me in hysterics:Bob is drunk and can't type I guess weeaboo weed lord 420 o.
friend 2:hi
friend 2:i'm bob's illegitimate son
friend 2:robert leonard IV
me:Kay first f all it's me again
me:M
me:And a one of all that means I would have had a son when was like two years old
friend 2:i dunno you were pretty frisky when you were younger
me:Thied of all save this hole conversation I'd log reading is
friend 2:i'm pasting every line into notepad
me:I'm only talking so regards cuz m on my phone
friend 2:so regards
me:Gid damnit phone
me:So regarded
me:So retarded
me:Phones nearly up of batteries
me:Please tell <friend 1> that I'm not dead and the fuse box joy looked like one bu isn't
friend 2:fuse box joy
friend 2:er
friend 2:come again?
me:I don't remember to
me:Yo
End Conversation
friend 3:gibe alcohol
me:Sure here you go
friend 3:where does it come out of my computer
me:Your monitor you fucking retart
me:Afe you new to computer or something
me:Are
me:Shit
friend 3:go home bob
friend 3:you're drunk
End Conversation
me:Hello I'm drunk
friend 4:h-hi!
me:I pissed in a fuse box while people sang smash mouth
friend 4:x:
friend 4:w-wha..?
me:Also to drunk clarify
me:I'll wait till I'm sober to explain hahaha
me:Make more suspense anyways
me:Plus I'm m my phone so m regards drunk talk is Ben morretardd
friend 4:o-ohh, gosh...
friend 4:w-well, please be safe...
me:Safety is myself name
friend 4:o-okie...
me:Robert safety Leonard that's me
me:Smartphones are had to Type in, yo
friend 4:a-are you with friends..?
me:Sorry yeah I'm with lots of friends I'm I. Good hands
me:Shy worry about me
friend 4:o-okiee...
me:SMARTPHONES
me:HEY ARE NOT SMART AT ALL
friend 4:I guess nott...
I'd like to add that I am not better than Josh Peck
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